The Ancient Art Of Big Timing And Its Staggering Correlation To Modern Day Wave Riding

(Miley Cyrus is so NBT)

Surfing: The Art of Big Timing

Some are born with it,  some aren't. "IT" is the uncanny ability to live your life in unapologetic Big Time fashion. The roots of Big Timing can be traced back to ancient Greece and the birth of  Pythagoras, a philosopher whose Pythagorean Theorem is still taught in high school math classes around the world. His birth gave way to generation after generation of Big Timers that have since changed the modern world in ways Pythagoras would have never thought possible.

The ability to Big Time can be compared to American Slavery of the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries. There are those born into slavery (non-Big Timers) and those born free (Big Timers). We shall refer to non-Big Timers as slaves or NBT's. Big Timers will be called Wigs after the traditional headwear of congressmen during this era. For the slaves, or NBT's, there life will be a constant struggle as they crave the urge to just once be given the opportunity to Big Time. On the other hand the Wigs will live their superb lives in utter Big Time as others jealously watch them in amazement.

However what many NBT's fail to realize is that there is a third option. There are the Trannies. "Tranny" is derived from the latin word Transformer. A Tranny is someone that, through hard work and impeccable dedication, has been able to work themselves free of the shackles that bind them in mediocre non-Big Timetry. Every third blue moon one member of the enslaved population is set free. He has earned his rights to Big Time through loyalty and determination to the cause. Every third blue moon one NBT enters the world of Big Timing. Fuck. Excuse my French.

Now you may be asking, "What does this have to do with modern day wave riding or surfing?"

Surfing is riddled with past and present Wigs (Big Timers), as well as despicable NBT's. Take Robert "Wingnut" Weaver (Wig) who perfected the art of "Hangin those toes" or Robert Kelly Slater (Wig) who slept with Cameron  Diaz AND Pamela Anderson. On the other end of the spectrum you have Brazilians (NBT's) and neo-hippies like Donnie Frankenreiter (total Slave) who has an incredible inablity to simply dissapear.

Dane Reynolds leads todays modern Wig movement. His caramel locks and "I don't care attitude," have made an entire generation blush.

With the economy and stability of the men's PGA tour being the worst they've been in years many things are uncertain about our future. However one thing is certain, and its been certain since Pythagoras's large cranium first appeared outside his mother's wizard sleeve (ironically this is the name of the board shaped by Al Merrick for Robert Kelly Slater). And that certain certainty is that there will always be those who Big Time and those locked in hellish non-Big Time slavery. It's the way its always been, and they way it will always be.