Magic Johnson had AIDS. Excuse me, HIV. Freddy Mercury had it to. He also had a fetish for sodomizing young Thai boys. To all the Queen fans out there, every time you bought a Queen album you funded Freddy's sexual escapades into Thailand. How dare you fund the exploitation of prepubescent Thai boys! You probably voted for George Bush too ughh.
Cigarettes are fucking cool. Why else would they be called popular sticks. Johnny Depp smokes them and he is Peoples sexiest man alive. Even Obama puffs a grit every now and then. Preferably menthols I presume. Everyone knows that African American's always start the coolest trends. Take sagging your pants or crack cocaine for example. Where would Amy Winehouse or Kate Moss be without Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston. Whats really important though is that you go down to the liquor store immediately and buy yourself a big time pack of cigarettes. Take two out and put one behind your ear and let the other dangle from your mouth then light that shit up and let the coolness take care of itself.
Reef sponsors Alana Blanchard. This is great. Now for the rest of her surfing career we will be blessed with the best ass shots the surfing industry has to offer. Keep those forehand bottom turns coming!
Dennis Rodman loves to party. So does Tiger Woods. But Magic Johnson has the BEST T-cell count.
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